i've had a lot of negative language thrown my way over the years. some of the things said i couldn't care less about, some still keep me up at night. some of them weren't all that bad and i just took it personal, some were just mean. despite this, i've realized the most difficult language for me to receive is positive language. nothing has been more painful than having to (re) learn how to allow others to speak life into me when i need it. part of this is because i don't believe people when they say good things about me. my brain goes straight to "your feelings about me have a set timer and you don't even know when it's gonna go off, but it will." but people are allowed to change their minds about you! a change in connection doesn't have to mean a change in sentiment. if someone calls you beautiful, then the two of you never speak again are you no longer beautiful? it's difficult to accept love in your life when you're prematurely grieving the loss of it. i'm 100% my own biggest critic, and i try not to take criticism too personally from anyone. however i cannot accept criticism without accepting love and expect there to be balance in my life.
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